Eating Disorders Don’t Have a Look
If you picture someone with an eating disorder, what comes to mind?
For many people, it is a very specific image. Thin. Frail. Sick looking. Maybe someone who visibly looks like they are struggling. That image is not only incomplete, but it’s harmful.
Eating disorders do not have a look. They exist in bodies of all sizes, shapes, ages, genders, and backgrounds. And the belief that you must “look a certain way” to be struggling is one of the biggest barriers to people getting help.
Where the Myth Comes From
Much of what we think we know about eating disorders comes from outdated stereotypes, media portrayals, and medical bias.
Historically, eating disorders were framed as rare conditions affecting thin, white, teenage girls. While that population can absolutely struggle, it is not the whole picture.
Today we know that:
Most people with eating disorders are not underweight
Many are praised for their “discipline” or “healthy habits”
Symptoms are often missed or dismissed because of body size
When weight becomes the main screening tool, people fall through the cracks.
Eating Disorders Exist Across the Weight Spectrum
Someone can be:
Eating very little
Skipping meals regularly
Experiencing intense food anxiety
Engaging in bingeing, purging, restriction, or compulsive exercise
Obsessively thinking about food or body
Experiencing medical consequences of malnourishment
…and still live in a body that society considers “normal” or “large.”
Body size does not tell you how nourished someone is. It does not tell you how much they are eating, how their organs are functioning, or how much distress they are carrying.
What Often Gets Missed
Many people with eating disorders hear things like:
“You don’t look sick”
“Your labs are fine”
“You’re not underweight”
“At least you’re eating something”
“Just try to be more balanced”
These responses can delay care for years.
Meanwhile, the person may be dealing with:
Brain fog and poor concentration
Heightened anxiety or obsessive thoughts
Irritability or emotional numbness
Digestive issues
Hormonal disruptions
Dizziness, fatigue, or feeling cold all the time
These symptoms are not about willpower. They are often the body and brain responding to inadequate or inconsistent nourishment.
Restriction Is Not Always Obvious
Restriction does not always look like eating nothing.
It can look like:
Eating only “safe” foods
Skipping meals unintentionally
Rigid food rules disguised as wellness
Avoiding social eating situations
Feeling panic when plans change around food
Constantly thinking about the next meal or how to “fix” eating
Many adults with eating disorders never identified with the label because their behaviors were normalized or even encouraged.
You Do Not Have to Be “Sick Enough”
One of the most painful patterns I see is people waiting until they feel “bad enough” to get support.
Eating disorder care is not reserved for people at a certain weight or level of severity. Early support matters. Gentle support matters. Support that meets you where you are matters.
If food feels stressful, exhausting, or overwhelming, that is enough. If eating feels harder than it should, that is enough.
What Recovery-Oriented Care Focuses On
Recovery-focused nutrition care does not center on weight. It centers on:
Adequate and consistent nourishment
Supporting brain and nervous system health
Rebuilding trust with hunger and fullness cues when possible
Honoring the complexity of mental health, trauma, and neurodivergence
There is no single path or timeline. Recovery is not linear and it does not require you to fit a stereotype.
If This Resonates With You
You are not making this up. You are not being dramatic. You are not failing at eating. And you do not need to look a certain way to deserve help.
If you are curious about eating disorder nutrition support, working with a weight-inclusive registered dietitian can be a starting point. Not to control your body, but to help you nourish it with care. I work with adults navigating eating disorders and disordered eating through a non-diet, weight-inclusive approach. Care is collaborative, compassionate, and grounded in the belief that all bodies deserve nourishment.
Telehealth services are available for adults in Pennsylvania and Maryland. Reach out to schedule an appointment.
